OK So I'm Back and Noone Cares

I also got completely stymied as to how the fuck to spell noone. how does that happen? What has happened to me? Who stole my brain?

I had the kid 5 months ago which I could use as an excuse for not writing, except that my previous track record is so incredibly shitty. He's super cute and his name is Bennett. He's way cuter than your kid (if you have one [if there is a you and I'm not writing to an empty void])

Anyone from WTF reading? Hi! Maybe try reading from the oldest post to here so it makes whatever sense I'm actually capable of making. Don't worry there aren't many posts, I'm a slacker.

I don't have much to say today. Cheese actually yowls more these days because he's jealous of Bennett. To retaliate for all the attention Bennett gets at 2 in the morning Cheese wakes me up at 3 in the morning, which is just fantastic, because it's exactly an hour before Bennett wakes me up again. He gives me another perfectly timed Bennett warning at 5am, before B's 6am feed.

Gosh I just love that cat.

Here's a spartan apple. Talk amongst yourselves.

WTF?

I was going to act all sad that no one noticed that I'd started writing again, but I realised how completely pathetic it would have been if anyone had. Phew!
So here I am, writing to an empty void again. For a while I know my sister was reading (because of the mocking comments) but I lost her after week 2 of not writing. Maybe I could teach Cheese to read. Then I'd have to pretend all those yowling comments were a joke. Probably wouldn't work. He's dumb but he's not THAT dumb.
Being pregnant makes you totally obsessed with being pregnant. I don't seem to have anything else to talk about. Surely I'm doing SOMETHING interesting. Not that I ever did before I guess.
I guess that means it's time for a meaningless picture:














So this isn't totally meaningless - the first on-topic pic I've chosen probably. Anyway it's not our baby - the thing is picking its fucking nose! Ours doesn't do that shit.

Someone commented (OK a lot of people have) that I'll "probably have to tone down all that swearing, huh?". I'm all like "fuck that shit" and then go home and cry. I've probably already ruined the baby.

OK something not all pregnancy: Britney! Oh thank god BRITNEY!
OK bye.

Katie Holmes Married a Garden Gnome

We're going to ignore the fact that I've ignored my blog for 10 months.
I'm back! And although it will be less funny now I have a new thing to use my blog for. So I'll try and mix it up - the random crap comme d'habitude and then the whole I'm pregnant thing. Yeah so I'm pregnant. Yes it was on purpose, no we don't know what it is (waiting to find out) and no I can't think of anything funny to say about it. Damn.

So the cheeseball is freaking out because we're completely rearranging the whole house (due to the parasite - I mean that in the most loving way). Get this - he's meowing a lot. Yeah, YOWLING in fact. I know you're surprised because normally he - oh wait never mind.

Tomorrow or something I'll put up new Cheeser or Parasite pictures.... for now here's an eel.








See? It's like I never left!

For Hallowe'en I dressed up as Katie Holmes. I wore dark blue jeans, stilletto boots, a white blouse, big sunglasses, my pregnant belly and an alien baby doll bursting out of my stomach with tarantula legs and blood everywhere. Yes the alien baby doll lit up. Duh. I didn't get pictures though because I suck. Amos was a garden gnome. HA!

snif

I'm sick. Again.
That totally pisses me off. Here's what being sick looks like at a molecular level:

So I'm going to start playing badminton with my sister, which of course lead me to look up badminton images on the ol www, and I found this ridiculously artsy photo:

A little over the top, don't you think?

I did.

Anyway, I'm too sick to think much more so I'm out.

My Thoughts are of Trumpets

Because I bought one.

I figured that if there are signs banning it, the trumpet industry could really use my help.
My sis recommended better no trumpet pics... but I can't include the best one because the uploading doodad doesn't want to work. Part of an international trumpet conspiracy I bet.
Shit, I wonded if CESUS tracks trumpet sales!?!?!? I knew there was a reason I didn't trust Craigslist, that guy was totally a CESUS agent.
Actually, that's not so scary - what if he was a CIA agent! That would be scary. I could totally see the Americans justifying spying on trumpet sales in Canada. Lots of 911 guilt trips as per usual....
Anyway, I bought a trumpet. Cheap.

I look stupid playing it, but it's fun.

Telecommunications and Hampster Tipping

So I thought I'd had it bad lately with dealing with phone companies. Amos and I bought a cell phone for my mother from a Bell store in Victoria, only to find out that it didn't work because they were having a glitch with certain numbers. We only found THAT out after hours spent on hold of course. Then, when my mother returned the phone they credited HER VISA instead of mine, so she knew how much we had spent. At work I had to return some equipment to telus, and spent hours on the phone to every department eventually being told to go down to the main Telus store. I did, and they put me on the phone again, since they don't take back commercial equipment. This was all very frustrating, but nowhere near as socially irresponsible as what I heard on CBC this morning:

A man belted his 10-month old child into his carseat this morning, and went back inside to get his three year old, and lock the door. When he turned around his car was gone. The police wanted to use the GPS signal from his car phone to track down his car, but when they called Sprint to do so they were informed that they needed to "fill in an application and send in $25.00" before receiving the information. They even got it on tape.

I've decided that as far ahead as we feel we've got with sidekicks and blackberries and TV on our phones, that not only do we not need any of that shit, but it's actually dragged us backwards. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

OK that was enough of the unfunny stuff, back to the usual...

Todays' topic:

Hampster Tipping

How could anyone do this? I thought bonsai kittens was bad, but this is horrible!

Thanks to cute overload for the pic. That site is just mean....

Anyway, I've got other crap to write.

My Sis

Sorry, I forgot to post this earlier. My sister is mad at me these days because she has photos of me on her blog, and there are none of her on mine. So, here you are Bronners, you know i love you (and your bun braids!)

New Directions [puke]

I think puke could be a direction if you wanted it to be. One does say "I'm going to puke" [emphasis ed.]. If I were to have a new direction for this new year it would be towards puking. In general. Talking about puke, I have pretty much nothing to report. Thus the word vomit.

I want to get a trumpet, but there are those out there who apparently feel differently.
Idiots.